Ka huli ho‘i O‘ahu
My last piece/deposit in the summertime was written about ka ne‘e i ka moku o Keawe, moving to the Big Island. The deposit contained video of the times/events that took place leading into the move, starting the move, and some early events on the Big Island.
In what seems to be a very low defining moment in my adult life, and the hardest hit academic semester I’ve had since I’ve started going back to school in 2024, I decided to move back to O‘ahu, not attend UH Hilo in person, attend school at UH Mānoa instead, and switch my academic direction from ‘Ōlelo Hawaiʻi and Chemistry to something else. This decision was founded mainly because of the financial hardships experienced in moving to the Big Island and affording positioning and living out of Kea‘au on my own.
Multiple factors have taken effect to cause this decision to fruit. To start from the beginning, I had been somewhat reluctant to make the decision to move to Kea‘au to attempt attending UH Hilo, because I already had calculated that with the schedule of schoolwork, the amount of work to afford rent and food, and the time it would take throughout the week to perform the necessary work to make ends, that I would not make enough for rent from burning out trying to keep all my avenues of work in balance.
Within a few weeks of moving into the new house in “Hawaiian Paradise Park”, or what would have been called “Waikahekahenui”, I found myself driving out of my own garage with a nail in my tire, thumping along the road as I tried to make it to the skatepark before sundown. I ended up turning that back around and staying home that day, not trying to end up on the side of the highway with a flat tire, in a forest anywhere around about 10 miles from my house. I had contemplated certain scenarios of breaking down far away in the forest, and what I would do in thought situation.
It turned out the place I signed the rent for, that I found over the internet without being able to see in person, wasn’t as it appeared. Even though the photos I was shown of the place had areas of not being trashed, that when arriving I seen was trashed, I arrived noticing that the yard space throughout the property had been trashed, resembling a trash like squatters had possibly been there and left their trash behind. I can recall a flat chair seat, possibly leather, being in a position that was stuck between two branches holding it there, and thinking the unlikeliness of that happening without a person putting it there. Seemed unlikely.
I had gone throughout the driveway multiple times to check if there were any nails or sharp objects that could puncture my tire, and multiple times have collecting random sharp metal trash. The collection was eye-opening.
Being on your own and doing everything on your own can be tough. Being on my own, building a base towards livelihood, just to get through school to get to a place to be able to better afford, and then stack onto that base after school to build a livelihood that one could actually afford a decent living, I didn’t want to take unnecessary risks. I decided to move to Big Island to attend UH Hilo mainly out of the attempt to avoid institutional corruption, which it seems I now am getting a taste of at UH Mānoa, because I had foreseen, through experience around corruption on O‘ahu, that I would possibly encounter obstacles, possibly unnecessarily, and possibly intentionally designed.
UH Hilo also has, what looks to me, an amazing program around ‘ōlelo Hawai‘i, and that was my main focus of interest in being culturally progressive, and the main driving factor that got me to move and try to attend Hilo, against my foresight of not being able to afford living or get burnt out trying.
In that foresight, my idea was to stay on O‘ahu, and drag through college just to earn a bachelor’s degree. From there more agency may be available. What was the catalyst that sparked my decision to go against that foresight of staying on O‘ahu, was the communication of support. That made me think that if I am getting burnt out, support could help me to pull through, so I tried. As the road went on, that means of support started to fall through, and I was left with a rental lease signed, first months rent paid for, and back up support slipping.
With all said and done, I have no regrets about moving to Puna. The whole experience seemed to lift me out of a certain stagnant perspective, and moved me into this shifting transition. I yearned to escape the city and find satisfaction in nature, and I felt that when I made it to ‘Ōla‘a. I felt that I had successfully and with satisfaction escaped the city and its chaos, and more so on top of that, gained a new perspective, the feeling of what Hawai‘i was really like before, and what it feels like when connected to its historical and cultural roots. The hala trees, the ‘ōhi‘a forests, those certain aspects of nature connected to mo‘olelo Hawai‘i, is what I was looking to connect with. As misfortunate as it turned out to be, in that sense of connecting culturally, it was uplifting. The other not yet told aspects that would sink in the reality of the modern economy stacked on top of this treasure chest of native culture, were seeing local native people living in the modern economy over there too, in town, just like in Honolulu. Perspectives were gained, and I have no regrets.
I may write more about my time there, for this I write towards the return to O‘ahu. The video “Ka Huli Ho‘i” was created with some of the sights and sounds of the experience. I had made it some time ago now, since returning from Big Island, posted it, and anticipated I would write something when things are smoother to write about the experience.
Now back on O‘ahu, I’m currently attending UH Mānoa. I had initially switched from Chemistry into Mechanical Engineering, with a double major towards Hawaiian Studies also. After some processing I dropped Mechanical Engineering, and switched my B.A. from Hawaiian Studies to pursue a B.A. in Hawaiian Language (‘Ōlelo Hawai‘i). I am currently picking up the pieces from the costs, but do feel I’ve gained something insightful in the experience of the nature of the Big Island, Moku o Keawe. Being there for the amount of time I was, understanding what it’s like to live there, on another island I’ve never lived on, was insightful. This is said without packing in the cultural knowledge of places and stories I’ve learned through the trip. No regrets.
This is written and expressed as a documentation of a moment in my life, and the understanding of what comes with pursuing higher education in the illegally occupied Hawai‘i by the “State of Hawai‘i”, as a native born Hawai‘ian in the modern contemporary world.
A hui hou e kākou!
